Wow. Just… wow.

So this review is a bit of a cop-out, because I’m not going to shell out the $499.99 to install a Viper System in my car, and then fork over another $29.99 a year for continued services, just so I can test out the Smart Start technology – no matter how James Bond it’d make me feel.

The iPhone app itself, is free, so I downloaded it just to see what the interface was like, and to help myself imagine what it’d be like if I was cool enough to have one of these installed in my car (I may or may not have spent a good hour wearing black shades, darting across streets, and making bee doo boop sounds with my iPhone directed at my car. I would exclaim, wide-eyed to curious bystanders, “By golly the car is alive!”).

SmartStart is created by Viper with Directed Electronics Inc., a vehicle security company that also specializes in remote start capabilities, and is currently the only vehicle security and remote start system that works with your iPhone. With SmartStart, you can not only lock and unlock your doors and disarm your vehicle’s security system, you can use your iPhone to pre-warm your car’s cabin in the winter, pre-cool it in the summer, and even find your car in a parking lot. And, the best part? The range of use is nearly limitless. SmartStart works over the 3G cellular network or over Wi-Fi, giving you virtually unlimited range anywhere in the States, so long as you’re engaged in a network. Whoa, just whoa.

If you’re one of those cool cats with a Viper System already installed in his car, then don’t fret: installing Smart Start will only put you back $299.99 instead of the whopping $500 price tag for those just starting out. Still, it’s quite the heft for a system many people, aside from its glorification purposes and bragging rights, may not deem as necessary. Taking the time to warm up your car while you shiver inside really isn’t a big deal, and unlocking your car from a distance just seems like an idle comfort. However, when cell phones started appearing in normal use around 1999, no one would have guessed how much of a necessity they would become. People practically rely on their phones now – how did mommy ever know where Johnny was, before? The outlandishness! Also, when car seats with warming pads started appearing in high-end models, it became a thing of desire, something else to push you up a notch on the wealth scale. This tranference from luxury to necessity is really what Smart Start is about, and soon enough, we’ll begin to wonder how we ever survived without it.

Right now, the iPhone and AT&T are merged with Viper, so Smart Start technology is only available through the iPhone, and no other smartphone. For those home engineers, don’t even think about installing Viper on your own – professional installation by the crew of Best Buy is absolutely mandatory, no cutting corners here. However, once this step is done, all you have to do is download the free app, set up your account, and voila, your iPhone is now your all-in-one remote device. Since Smart Start relies on a user account, this means you can use any iPhone to activate your car, so long as you’re logged in. It also means you can input more than one car’s information on your iPhone, activating three cars at a time if you so desire – but that would just be idle poppycock, or would it?

A few years down the road I envision a new breed of soccer moms, driving their vans with automatic sliding doors, big plasma screens and DVD players, iPhone music hook-ups, and now, their Viper Smart Start to start the car and warm it up for the wee kids, dirty and cold from playing in the field. Moms will start touting how useful it is, how they couldn’t survive without it: “Having two kids is such a huge chore, and I often lose track of things! Even my car! I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have Smart Start to find my car in the parking lot after buying groceries.” Well, mom, I definitely see your plight.

A part of me can’t wait until another decade, when this kind of remote technology could lead to greater and more awe-inspiring things on a commercial, widespread level. Remote-controlling your car a la James Bond comes to mind, especially, but I envision a future more along the lines of Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report, with computerized highways and hands-free vehicle operation – a sort of Big Brother gone viral. Also, the remote driving technology is already in existence, and being tinkered with on the iPhone by the Artificial Intelligence Group at Freie Universität in Germany. It’s just still in the nascent, prototype stage, not ready for public consumption. And boy, will we consume it.

Viper Smart Start is just another inevitable step toward humans becoming more and more reliant on their computers and handheld electronic devices, a controversial subject with definite highs and lows that is better reserved for debate in other venues. In the meantime, Smart Start is definitely eye-opening and amazing to behold, and is still new enough on a public scale to make jaws drop. And for that, I consider it a great thing. The app, itself, deserves the 5 stars for being groundbreaking and present on a clean and easy interface, but the whole system to me, is more along the lines of 3.5 stars, for the high price at a low level of necessity. Even the Viper website has a hard time selling the system to you as “necessary,” exaggerating how uncomfortable cold cars can be, and how cumbersome keys on a key chain can be. Oh no, big clunky keys, what a horrible thing, how ever do we deal?

While having everything condensed on the iPhone is convenient, until Viper adds a bit more bang to the cool factor, and lowers the price some, I cannot justify spending that much money just to get a few impressive looks.