Waking up this morning, I wandered to the stove, brought a pot of water to boil, and brewed myself my usual cup of morning Tetley, with milk and honey. As the water heated, and I watched the honey from my spoon slowly spread along my mug’s bottom, I realized I had to make cider. Sorry, backtrack. A little while back I had hot cider at a football game and it was so delightful I made a pact with myself to brew a batch this autumn – with the added interest of fermenting it into hard cider. Here in the States, we tend to use apple cider and juice interchangeably, or the word cider connoting unfiltered juice; however, elsewhere in the UK, France, Germany, Canada, cider tends to mean hard cider, a fermented, alcoholic apple drink with delicious fizziness and mulled spices.

That’s why it tickled me so to see we had an App Review Request for a game called Bar Rush by Intersog Game Studio – you’re the bartender, and you must quickly fill your customer’s order before chaos erupts. Right, I know, it’s quite the leap from home brewed apple cider – with quilts and cinnamon sticks, warm breaths and kittens – to the wanton satyriasis of a darkly lit and lively bar, but alcohol connects with alcohol, and hard cider has definitely been experiencing a resurgence in popularity among the younger denizens of our society. Just like the Lemon Drop became popular among upper class Manhattan women from vixenish Samantha Jones downing them in Sex and the City, and how Sideways forever correlated California Chardonnays with having too much “post malo-lactic fermentation” (that rich, buttery taste the French, for some reason, snub their noses at in their white wines – “Oh those Americans, they must overdo everything!”), alcoholic beverage trends come and go.

Bar Rush reminds me more of the movie Cocktails, with a brash, boyishly young Tom Cruise whirling and twirling drinks over his head and behind his back, which was usually donning some horrific, geometrically patterned shirt popular in the 80s. The main screen shows the bar’s entrance, people and lights inside, with the name Bar Rush offset and lit in that slightly tacky but appropriately hazy halogen yellow that just screams sex and booze and seen above most bar entrances in the 80s, and now coming back in some retro fashion in various cool spots in New York. Music and people clanging around adds to the scene. I was ready to see people in leather and caked black makeup, but the game actually took a disappointing turn with an extremely dorky manager in suit and tie, with an 8 year old boy’s haircut – at least I detected a bit of smarminess in his oversized suit and forced smile. To add insult, a giant glowing disco ball hangs in the center of the screen, flashing blue lights around this shockingly bright club, like some pop teenager’s idea of a dance scene. Black leather and caked makeup is out – tight, revealing shirts, golden hoops, and kittenish, flirty heels are in. The game’s intro is saved by a formidable-looking mentor with sideburns who manages to make an outfit of red vest and puffy white sleeves look enviable and intimidating, who shows you the ropes in pouring drinks.

After the brief tutorial, your manager starts you off with the easy stuff – beer, wine and non-alcoholic beverages – to prove your worth. At this stage, it’s actually pretty soothing being a bartender. Some lovely ladies and cool guys in shades ask you for beers and lite beers (I’ll try not to say anything about the game’s tendency to make only the women ask for Lite Beers) and an occasional iced juice. Pouring the drinks has such a satisfying sound that after awhile, it becomes second nature to tap the wine glass, pour the white wine and drag it to the customer, then place the dirty glass in the sink. Each of these procedures is timed, and you’re tipped more the quicker you do your duties, but in the beginning, all this is a cakewalk, and you feel like the best bartender in the world. After achieving the rank of Mixologist, I added rum and vodka drinks to my serving repertoire. Here, I experienced the first Dr. Jekyll appearance from my normally nonplussed, dorky manager, as he angrily reprimanded me for being a statue behind the bar and letting a dirty glass sit for too long. Suddenly, it’s a little rough being a bartender, hearing customers sigh dramatically, get angry and leave, or tip less. Want a little spit in your vodka? I thought so.

After passing this phase, though, my manager said, “The last time I saw moves like that was in the movie Cocktail.” Go figure. Liqueurs and whiskey are then added, and from then on, the game becomes a giant, mad dash in making drinks. Mistakes will happen and more yelling will be heard, but it’s all thrilling and quite fun. After awhile, it became instinct to reach for the highball glass when someone ordered a juice drink or carbonated beverage with ice, and to reach for the rock glass when someone wanted a rum cocktail. I would multitask, grabbing dirty glasses and putting them in the sink while mixing someone’s gin and tonic. While I wish the game was a bit more interactive – say, actually pouring drinks rather than tapping the gin or whiskey or tequila – it’s hard enough in its present state, and at least when making martinis you get to shake your iPhone in a miming motion. I don’t exactly frequent bars that often, and I’m definitely not a mixology expert, so reaching for the schnapps, the gin, the grenadine, was quite the pressing matter in ignorance. I found myself double tapping the customer frequently so I could remember what ingredients to use, and in what order. Sometimes I would choose the wrong glass and have to put it back. What’s worse, if you screw up someone’s drink, that’s it for your life as a bartender. You’re back to square one. I happily mixed a nice glass of Dragon’s Breath only to accidentally put ice in it. The women pffftted at me, walked away, and my job security, health insurance, was kaput.

Bar Rush will test your speed, wits and skill, as you race to satisfy the thirsty patrons in this time-management simulation with stimulation. Mix, shake, pour and serve all orders before the clock runs out, and in the process learn the recipes to dozens of classic cocktails – maybe not in the right amounts, and making lacking in one or two ingredients (Dragon’s Breath has firewater, which this game does not), but you get the picture. The bar music should better reflect a bar scene, even a disco scene, because the current music in the game is hokey at best, seemingly decided upon at the last minute when the developer realized, “Oops, I forgot to put in music.” My complaints are relatively insignificant, however, as Bar Rush is very, very fun, and definitely provides an original premise. Perhaps, just not for the kids.

Promotion Codes:

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