It’s happened to all of us.

You get dressed to the nines, put on those sexy 4 inch heels or that cerulean blue button down from Kenneth Cole that collects more dust than admiration in the back of the closet, then add some goop and groom our usually flat or rumpled hair, and check our breaths before sitting face to face with a new date over candlesticks and a bread basket. Before long we notice the quiet half-smile, the leaning away and tight-lipped laughs from our date, as he studies the wine glass pinched between his fingers with the utmost dedication, as if trying to find a door into another world, one, hopefully, without you.

Through some distinct, unconscious biological imperative, this date has fully expressed his lack of interest in calling for that second round of drinks with various physiologic indicators we colloquially deem “body language.” Body language is an important and fundamental form of human communication, using non-verbal cues and gestures, postures, and anything, really, involving the body. Exhibited in all creatures across the globe, body language is as instinctual as life itself, and yet we people often have difficulty reading each other’s silent cues. We lack such insight into our physiological communication that Cosmopolitan Magazine has made the topic a regular under its sex column.

The BodyLingo iPhone app by Timesmart Labs has a compendium of 40 common forms of body language, all simply described for ease of use in social situations or simply for entertainment. The main screen shows a revolving turntable of all the different body language forms, and you may tap on any of these for a slightly longer description and a blown-up version of the drawing. Once on this screen, you may navigate through the rest of the body language descriptions by sliding your thumb from side to side much as you would in your iPhone photo album.

With its cute, cartoonish drawings and lack of references, I would assume this app is more for entertainment purposes than for nonverbal cheat codes when preparing for that suit and tie interview (I cannot attest to the actual psychological implications of this information). Also, it seems much of the information in this app is common-sense, like when a person stands closer than an arm’s length away, it may be a sign of interest. Of course, maybe this person simply has no sense of personal space, or is a “close-talker” as Jerry coined in the Seinfeld episode “The Raincoats.” And, I would hope most body language interpretation is instinctual.

Some of them are interesting and insightful, such as the possession of either crossed legs or arms could indicate someone is being protective, or trying to create a barrier. Too bad there aren’t any references, or links to further information on this body language deciphering; reading and abiding by these explications is simply taken on faith.

The caveat is one of circumstance and of cultural relativism. According to BodyLingo, when the pupils are too large, this could imply attractiveness or interest – or it could simply mean Johnny dahling had an encounter with a certain shade of narcotic moments earlier. True, most people would have the common sense to distinguish whether Johnny is a wee bit drug-addled or over-the-top affectionate, but it’s problematic for those who take the app too seriously. BodyLingo also states that shifty eyes can be indicative of someone feeling guilty or unsure – which certainly could be the case  – but some cultures, namely the Hmong, never look directly into another person’s eyes, it being a huge sign of disrespect.

Obviously, BodyLingo is an iPhone app meant for entertainment, and should be taken lightly. Giggling with your girlfriends when dissecting last night’s date’s leaning forward and open palms is definitely what this app wants out of its users. But, when taking into account body language, what BodyLingo and even magazine giants like Cosmopolitan neglect to sometimes take into consideration is the lack of some universal traits across cultures. You could say that BodyLingo is directly catered for the amusement of Americans, or really, the amusement of western white Americans since the Hmong take up 8% of California’s population alone, a much greater percentage of Minnesota and Wisconsin, and are a large presence on the newly instated UC campus of Merced. Perhaps this will be addressed in the new version of BodyLingo Timesmart Labs will soon release (so far, their website indicates the new release will include social networking and user ratings and polls).

I enjoyed flipping through the easy interface, and reading all the interesting takes on moving body parts, many of which I know I’ve read about before in more serious journalistic endeavors. So don’t take BodyLingo seriously, we’re not talking about a psychological profiling system here. It’s just for fun, and enjoy it.

For those interested in decoding their friends’ every movement, Appstruck has a few promo codes provided specially by Timesmart Labs for you to download BodyLingo, for free! Out of courtesy for your fellow readers, please leave a comment below indicating you’ve used the code, so others will know! Thank you.

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